New Strategy

So Cinco de Mayo has come and gone.
No fiesta baby for us.
And this saddens me...truly it does.
I really wanted a Cinco de Mayo baby.
Who wouldn't love a fiesta every year just for you?
Ok...it wouldn't be ALL for her but we wouldn't tell her that for YEARS. Kinda like those kids whose birthday was on the 4th of July and grew up thinking that it's normal for your town to throw a parade on your birthday....
After some serious thinking I've determined that what I might have going on is a war of the wits.  I think Sage has decided to play hard ball. She thinks she is in control of this situation or something...and I'm taking back control! That being said, I've developed a new strategy. Apparently the all out begging that I've been doing has no effect on this child. She is immune to my pleas. She mocks them as she sucks her on thumb.
It must come to this.
I realized that as this child shares half of my DNA she's bound to have a sweet tooth. Obviously, I've just been giving into the sugar temptations too often and she has become comfortable. I'm thinking that If I deprive her she will demand to be birthed so she can express her anger and make her demands of chocolate known! That's what I'd do anyhow if I were her...
No more sweets Beth. You can do it!
::does anyone else have doubts?::

Plan C: Bribery. Who doesn't want a pony?

Guess what I did on my first official day of maternity leave?
::And I use the term maternity leave loosely-I'm actually still seeing a couple clients each week but I'm not driving all the way to the office anymore::
On my first day of maternity leave I made 80+ muffins.
From scratch.
Why you ask?
No clue...sounded like a good idea at the time.
The freezer is now FULL of muffins.

Exploding brains

Yes. You read that correctly. My brain is about to explode.
Why is that you ask?
Baby carriers.
That's why!

I am having the most difficult time deciding on a baby carrier. For the life of me I do not understand why this is such a stressful task for me-it's just a silly baby carrier. We chose the kid's name easier than this silly baby carrier!
I think the drama lies in the fact that there are so many options. It's simply too hard to choose!
You gotta think about weight limits.
You gotta think about straps vs. snaps vs. ties
You gotta think about color.
You gotta think about if it can be worn on the front AND the back
And most important-I would prefer if it was sorta cute. Don't judge my priorities!

You know where all that leaves me? Nowhere.
If the carrier has a good weight range it can't be worn on the back. If I would wear it then Dana will not-and vice versa. If it has a decent looking (and by that I mean simple) snapping mechanism then it doesn't carry infants. If it's kinda cute then it only ties and who wants to look like a giant Christmas present while sporting a big ole bow?
Not I.

::sigh::

See...this is what a lack of sleep does to me. It makes me irrational!
I can usually make simple decisions-but not now apparently.
I think I shall sleep on it. I will make a decision in the morning.

In the words of Scarlett O'Hara (because every good southern girl can name at least 10 good quotes from Gone with the Wind): "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

Dana's Promotion

Dana received a promotion today!
He's now a Sergeant in the Army.
I happened to get a couple pictures of the event.

This is his unit waiting to watch the promotions

This is the guy in charge pulling off Dana's old rank. The rest of the unit is still standing in line watching.

I wasn't fast enough to catch it but what happens after Dana's former rank is removed is the guy behind him (who is also in his section) places on the new rank (it goes smack in the middle of his chest) and then smacks the heck out of it. It's some kind of manly tradition of some sort...I don't quite get it. You can see their whole body strain under the weight of the hit. I suppose it would be embarassing to fall over in front of everyone...It took every ounce of my self control not to bust out laughing because it really is quite funny. You can see the guy's fist all balled up in this next picture and how Dana looks like he's about to get punched...

After the new rank is placed on them they have to say the NCO (non-commissioned officer) creed that they have memorized. It's REALLY long. Here is a link if you are curious.  I would be too embarassed to have to yell it out in front of everyone but they both (Dana and the guy to his left were the only ones promoted today) did a great job. 

And then...they have to do 50 pushups. The reason why? I have nooo clue. Army guys really like their pushups...

Does anyone know a good plastic surgeon?

I was snooping around the internet last night (and by snooping I mean catching up on other folk's blogs that I read regularly) when I came across this website.
*I'm posting this today because blogger decided to hate me and wouldn't allow me to post pictures last night...boo on blogger*
Make Your Baby

So how could I resist? It's basically a site where you take your photo and your hubby's photo (or baby's daddy...whatever works for you) and the site combines them to identify what your child will look like.

All I have to say is that those gigantic ears I saw on the ultrasound are the LEAST of our worries...

Where did that forehead come from? She's definitely getting bangs or something...

Curiosity then got the better of me and I decided to have a child with Orlando Bloom (beacuse I love him). And what do you know, she's not so bad looking...
She doesn't have the weird forehead so I'm blaming Dana's genes for that other one...

And then I thought maybe the original pictures that I picked just weren't going to work so I picked out different ones just to see what happened.
It's worse....waaaay worse.

And just to make things fair (like how I've started about 6 sentances with the word 'and'). I asked Dana who he'd like to make a baby with just to see what results from the pairing...
Sadly, she's cute...so I can't blame his genes for our child anymore. Apparently, we just shouldn't breed. Or if we do it again, it needs to be with some hot celebrity.

Because I'm bored...